Holiday Reading!

I’m sitting here eating my favorite holiday treats (pretzels, drizzled with chocolate and sprinkled with candy canes). I’ve been trying to avoid this snack, but there are boxes upon boxes of in our cabinet. Let’s just say I’m being festive?

It’s 60 and sunny here, which is absolutely my kind of December. Mac and I went on a walk sans coats today. I’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about what I want the holidays to look like for him as he grows up.

Over Christmas break when I was younger, I remember playing outside and reading a lot. I think I read Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul in one sitting when I was 12. Those stories were so good, man.

I don’t know that I’ll read as much this Christmas season. McCoy isn’t really into family reading yet :) But, I thought I’d share a few books I’d recommend for those who might be pounding the pages over the next week.

1. Where the Crawdads Sing // I just started reading this one and, honestly, can’t say enough about it. It feels like summer. Reads easily. And the story will hook you fast.

2. The President Is Missing // I feel like I need to preface this one: it’s cheesy. But if you want a fast-paced, mindless read, this will fit the bill. It’s basically like 24 in a book.

3. Liturgy of the Ordinary // This is the perfect book to read to start the new year with an appreciation for the daily routine. It will help you recognize the beauty in the mundane, like making your bed or mowing the lawn.

4. Girl, Wash Your Face // If you’re looking to start the year off with some extra motivation.

5. One Day in December // I haven’t read this one yet, but it’s on my list!

I’m also wondering if anyone recommends Nine Perfect Strangers? I have not heard great reviews but being a major #LianeFan, I’d like to give it a go.

Some Words for Heartache

Sometimes, I get the memories of my ex boyfriends confused. Which one of them took me on that date? And said that thing? And laughed that way?

I’m not telling you this to make you think they were insignificant. The opposite, in fact. These were men who, at the time, felt very important to me. I thought, at one point, I might marry them. They were the ones who taught me just how broken a breakup could make you feel. Who made me wonder, months later, if my heart would ever stop feeling the dull ache that had become my new normal.

The other day, when a memory popped into my brain, I realized it used to be one that felt vivid and important to the relationship. Yet last week, I couldn’t remember which relationship it was.

It hit me, then, that this could be important for someone who is in the thick of heartache to hear. The memories that feel so (so) painful right now, might someday feel more like a t-shirt you find in the back of your drawer. It used to flood you with emotion, bringing you to your knees with the scent of his cologne. But now it’s just an old Cubs t-shirt and you’re not totally sure if it was Jack or Mike’s.

Just like that shirt, there is a season of life when the memories will keep you warm. You will savor them as you heal; they will confirm that the relationship was significant. They will sting a little, too. It was once so good; where did we go wrong? Will be a question that haunts you.

But as you heal, gaining distance from them, they’ll get smaller and smaller, less and less significant. Both the joy and pain of them will lessen. And someday, they’ll be a little blurry. You’ll recognize, then, that these memories shrunk in order to make room for new, truer ones. The beautiful, lifelong memories that won’t fade or change, because they were made with the right person. Not Jack or Mike or that guy you met at the Halloween party and thought you’d marry because your name went oh-so well with his last name. No, these memories are your forever-ones. Never to be confused or forgotten or abandoned like an old shirt.

So let those memories wash over you when you need to. Laugh. Cry. Let your mind wander through the past, like a meandering tourist in a foreign city, sometimes seeing only the romance, sometimes asking the hard questions. Revel in them. But trust me when I say: the ones ahead will be brighter than anything left behind.

A Few Things I've Learned about Myself Lately

1. Little things matter. I bought these glass water bottles and keep them in our fridge. Some with lemon and oranges. Some with plain water. Drinking out of them feels indulgent and special. I’m learning that taking time to do little things - ones that might seem silly to someone else - feels like self care.

2. Earlier is better. Waking up early and going to bed early aligns with my body clock. I’ve always been an early-to-bed kind of girl, but lately we’ve been getting up at 5:30 and it feels so right.

3. Less is more, less is more, less is more. I knew this about myself, but feel like I’m learning it again as I watch Mac play. If I give him a basket of toys, he’s not interested in them. If I give him one or two toys, he plays happily. Just like when my closet is too full. We really don’t want to have to make a lot of decisions.

4. I need my weekends to feel different than my weekdays. I operate best when the weeks feel more rigorous - with working during Mac’s naps, an earlier wake time, etc. It allows me to more fully enjoy the weekends. Watching my mom in retirement shows me where I get it. She keeps a schedule every week even though she doesn’t technically have to. I am sure I will do the same!

Words for a Brand New Mama

It gets easier.

It gets easier.

It gets easier.

Nothing is wrong with you for thinking it is harder than you expected.

Nothing is wrong with you for thinking the weeks are passing slowly.

Nothing is wrong with you if you’re sort of counting down until the six week mark.

Nothing is wrong with you if you love your baby so much you want to cry.

Nothing is wrong with you if you talk to your baby all day. Like real one-sided conversations.

Also, nothing is wrong with you if you aren’t sure what to talk to your baby about. And if sometimes it feels like the walls of your home are closing in around you.

{Go outside. Bundle that babe up. Take a walk. Go to the grocery store. See humans.}

Nothing is wrong with you if you want to drink in your babe - every inch of him - savoring every single second. And yet? The days couldn’t feel longer. Not to mention the nights.

Nothing is wrong with you if you feel intense nostalgia for the present, wishing you could bottle up this time and drink it again later in life when you’re more rested and could appreciate it more. Like could you have a week with your baby - your newborn baby - when you’re 65, too? Just one extra week.

Nothing is wrong with you. You’re normal. These days are precious, beautiful and oh-so hard.

It gets more fun.

It gets more exciting.

Hang in there.

It gets easier.

It gets better.

It becomes the best, most amazing and beautiful thing you have ever done.