sometimes, always, never

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Do Differences Make You Incompatible?

At a glance, Chris and I seem really similar. Which is true, to an extent. We both love healthy eating, exercise and making a plan. :) At our cores, we have a ton of overlap. But, in our Venn Diagrams of life, there are areas where we really differ. For example...

Chris loves garlic. I can't stand it. 
Chris loves concerts. They're not really my jam
Chris loves playing on his computer at night. I want those laptops shut at 6 p.m. alwayyys. 
I love errands. Chris sure as heck doesn't. 
I love Target. Chris would rather go to the dentist. 
I love rearranging a room. Like so much. It's my favorite. He thinks of it as work. 
I love ice cream. Chris loves cookies. 
Chris loves red wine. I like white.
I need eight hours of sleep, Chris can rock five. 

You get the point! There are areas where we don't overlap (because we're people, not robots) and we have to liaise to keep an even keel. This balance creates moments of tension (pleaaaase go to Target with me at 8 p.m.!) and also creates an opportunity to love one another unselfishly. And marriage will teach you quickly that you are pretty selfish. 

What I'm learning is that it's OK to have things that are really different. It's really great to overlap on the big things, good to overlap on the medium things, and important to trust that where you don't overlap, you can spend time apart. For Chris, that means eating garlic, staying up late and watching sports on his computer when I'm out of town. For me, that means rearranging every room in the house and running to Target for just one more rug when my mom is visiting. 

It's about finding the rhythm that works for you as individuals and as a couple. It's about learning to value your sameness and respect one another's differences. It's about loving one another unselfishly and eating ice cream and cookies together. Because why not have the best of both worlds?