A few things. (life lately)

In the last few weeks I've probably started 10 blog posts. None of them have seen the light of day, though. My creative juices are flowing, but once I sit down to actually write something I can't get beyond a few sentences. It's not that I lack the motivation; it's that I'm not fully connecting the dots. Where was I going with this? Why is this post relevant? What was I going to say? 

I felt frustrated about it the other day, wondering if this was going to last forever. 

But, of course, it's not. It's simply a season of postpartum life. Until it passes, I thought I'd share a few of the things I would like to blog about, but can't seem to pull together. So, here we go: 

1. If I were to write a post to first-time moms with newborns, I'd want to tell them things get easier. Four weeks was my hardest stretch. Eight and nine weeks are hard, too. Three months? It's amazing. It's so much easier. At least this has been our trajectory. And if it's not yours, I promise your easier days are coming. It doesn't last forever. 
    
2. I absolutely love buying our eco-friendly cleaning products through The Grove. It's the most consistently affordable way to purchase low-chemical items. It is technically a subscription service, but you can turn that off. I order on an as-needed basis. 
    
3. Chris and I decided to Airbnb our house for some UVA football weekends. Our first guest is coming this weekend and I feel very mixed about it. Somewhat anxious about having strangers stay in our home, but also like it's a no-brainer. I will surely report back on this at some point. 
    
4. I haven't seen a therapist, gone to yoga, meditated, journaled much or had consistent quiet times since Mac was born. I can definitely tell a little difference in my life. It's not that I feel untethered or anything, but that when I was taking time to do these things, I was more intentional and thoughtful. Definitely something to slowly integrate back into my life now that we're finding a routine. 
    
5. I just got these shorts from Madewell as a gift and I absolutely love them. I highly recommend. :) Comfy and dressy at the same time. They do wrinkle though. 

Things I'm Loving Today

1. Peanut Butter Fingers at-home workouts // Most days, I workout outside during Mac's morning nap. It gets a little old coming up with difficult enough sequences over and over again. Enter PB Fingers! Her at-home workouts are great. Once my maternity leave it over, I'll likely try to exercise before he gets up at 7. But in the meantime, I'm enjoying my 8:30 workouts. :)

2. Girl, Wash Your Face // This is a light, motivating read. It is empowering, but not too serious. Aaaand it's free on Hoopla or Libby if you have either library app. The author, Rachel Hollis, narrates the audio version, which I love. 

3. My DIFF sunglasses // LOVE these babies. They're thick and have UV protection. They are a little heavy, but I think that's typically a sign of quality sunnies. Every August DIFF does a big end-of-summer sale so everything is marked down right now. You can use this referral link for 20% off, too! I love having decent sunglasses to protect my eyes, but hate to spend much more than $30 on them since they tend to grow legs and walk away. 

4. Bringing Up Bébé // I'm only a few chapters into this, but am loving it so far. It's great to hear different parenting perspectives, as she compares French ways to many of our American philosophies. Obviously, I have a lot to learn at only 11 weeks in :) 

5. This blueberry crisp // It is absolutely delicious! I subbed corn starch for tapioca (because tapioca starch is like Xanthan gum: instantly intimidating). It worked really well! 

6. Everything MIni Boden // I just got Mac a swimsuit for our beach trip in October. It was $16 with the current 60% sale. Wahoo!

Happy Monday!

A few things I know for sure today

That someone knowing your coffee order without asking is what love is. And if they surprise you with it? That's just pure romance. 

That there is a special place in heaven for people who help new (likely frazzled) mamas in the grocery store. 

That cheese and crackers count as dinner and if anyone says otherwise, they don't get me.

That the most beautiful sight in the world is your baby sleeping peacefully. 

That almond butter is cool and cashew butter is nice, but there's something to be said for the OG: PB. 

But who do you want to be?

Years ago, I went on a girls' trip that got out of hand. We were in our early 20s and had too much to drink. Two people ended up cheating on their then-boyfriends. It was horrible. I'll spare you any other details to protect the amazing girls who were present and tell you this: they recognized, instantly, they'd made a mistake.

The moral hangover in the car on the drive home stung much worse than any leftover vodka did. I remember thinking, as we sat - mostly in silence - and our two friends cried as they looked out the windows - this is not the way I want to live. This is not who I want to be. I don't want to drink like this and I don't want my friends to make these kinds of choices. For years I despised the city we'd visited, the shame of the weekend outweighing any of its joy. 

I thought of that trip the other day as I changed McCoy's diaper. It hadn't crossed my mind in years. As I snuggled him for bed that night, I thought that one of the things I hope to teach him in life is this: 

You get to choose who you want to be. 

Do you want to be someone who cheats on her boyfriend? No? Then don't do it.

Do you want to be someone who is patient with her husband? Take a deep breath before you speak. Then be patient.

Do you want to be someone who goes to the gym when she says she will? Set your alarm early enough to make it there.

Do you want to save for vacation? Then stop spending. 

Do you want to be kind and gentle? Hard working? An optimist? An encourager? A realist?

Then be those things. 

image via

You may think I'm oversimplifying it. And maybe I am. But, everyone has 24 hours each day. We can only rest on our laurels so long before we're making excuses not to grow and evolve. Being who you want to be, for the majority of us, really just takes discipline. Whether it be the discipline of holding your tongue or not clicking through that darn promotional email (I know - I know - it's 60% off!), it is simply a matter of not indulging. 

Every day, you have a chance to be who you want to be. Take a deep breath, say a prayer, meditate, slow down - do whatever it is you need to do to make it possible. And if you mess up today - if you snap at your husband or skip the gym or just don't have the energy to clean your house - try again tomorrow. 

Every single day is a fresh start to be who you want to be.