No, I can't put my phone away

On Monday, my very docile professor yelled at my class. He yelled so much I almost cried. He yelled until 2.11. My class ended at 2.15. My heart pounded until 2.35

He was so upset because almost everyone in the 20-person class had their phones out. He said that students had changed too much; we were pitiful if we couldn't handle 75 minutes without our phones.

OK. So maybe I'm pitiful.

If I am MIA for 75 minutes, my friends will worry. Often if I don't respond to a text within five minutes, my friends send the text again (or maybe even: "Where are you???"). If I'm MIA for 75 minutes, my emails will become daunting. I'd be seriously overwhelmed once I final reentered civilization.

And I'm not alone. Today, I had a 25 minute break between classes so I went to the Union to outline a paper. Sitting next to me, I overheard two girls talking.

Busy: Oh, I'm so tired. I want to nap.
Busier: Me too, but I don't have time at all.
Busy: I know, this week is crazy.
Busier: Last night, I was talking to my dad at 9 PM as I was scarfing down a sandwich for dinner and he was like, this is a busy week, huh? And I was like, this is my life, Dad.

And while I found Busier to be a little bit annoying and even a little bit more melodramatic, I know what she means.

It's that feeling of- maybe next week I'll be able to eat all three meals one day. Maybe next semester I'll see my friends outside of meetings. Maybe next year I'll have time to shower. (just kidding...kind of.)

We're all so over programmed. We have to join this and run for that because we want that one job. And we'll have to come in earlier and stay later because we'll want the promotion. And...

When does it stop? When do we breathe?

I don't know.

But, I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone.

Courtney, for example, hasn't blogged in over a week (not to call her out, but it makes me feel less guilty).

I can't help but think that maybe it just feels better to be busy, to have a purpose. It's the way of Generation Y.

Want to join this club? Y Not?
Want to start this organization? Y Not?
Want to be the next American President? Y Not?

Why not do everything we're capable of doing (or even not so capable of doing)? Why not just do it all?

So, maybe, just maybe, we are pitiful since we can't put away our planners because we might think of something else to add to our to do list. Maybe we have to eat dinner while walking to a meeting and talking on the phone. Maybe we have to blog in class if we ever want to get it done...

It's possible that what makes us pitiful makes us stronger. Well, as long as it doesn't kill us.

Even Disney dreams

"I won't grow up! I don't want to wear a tie! And a serious expression, in the middle of July! And if it means I must prepare to shoulder burdens with a worried air- I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up..." Peter Pan

For a good majority of Sam's youth he was certain he was going to be a doggy mailman when he grew up.

I mean, he liked dogs. He liked getting mail. He liked talking to people. It all made sense.

As I continue my job search, I almost wish I, too, could just be a doggy mailman.

Well, that's a lie.

But, I do wish that life was so simple that I could say, confidently, exactly what I wanted to be, and no one could challenge me or tell me that the job didn't actually exist.

The more time I spend looking for jobs, the more I understand why so many people guiltily yearn for their youth. When things were so easy and so simple...

And with recent developments, I'm not feeling so guilty for dreaming of a simpler time.

A number of celebrities are opting to take on character roles in cartoons. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa boasts Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith and John Wayne, to name a few.

You really can't blame them for it. I mean, imagine playing a dark and distburbing role for twelve hours a day. After wrapping, you have to go home to your family, and act completely undisturbed and unbothered by the terrifying scenes (I guess it's a horror film...).

...or, you could play Alex the lion in Madagascar. It's not really a toss up.

While the cartoon character craze may not be a new trend, when combined with Disney's new couture line, playing up our youth is becoming overwhelmingly popular.

Between high fashion, luxury furniture and wedding dresses (move over Vera), Disney has launched a new lifestyle brand.

While some of the pieces are a bit excessive, such as the Mickey Mouse pumps (I question why they didn't do Minnie Mouse pumps, personally), other pieces show very little sign of Disney (i.e. the wedding dresses).While Disney sees the limitations of their label, they're attempting to keep up with Dolce & Gabbana and Vivienne Tam. Being the empire that they are, I'd imagine that if Disney's believes it, they really will acheive it. Whether or not they're currently seen on the shelves next to Michael Kors, I'm confident that given enough time, Disney will be right there with Dior and Dolce.

I'm already waiting for the day when Angelina Jolie tells E! that she's wearing Disney Couture.

Why do we do it that way? We just do.

"You can't have Thanksgiving without turkey. It's like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas."- Joey, Friends

A typical evening at our home, approximately fifteen years ago: It's about six o'clock. Courtney and Ashley (ever-helpful) have volunteered to wipe off the counter where we ate dinner. They're working around Duke, who is still sitting on a stool, kicking his legs against the bar, protesting the meal (the noodles are green. He doesn't eat colored noodles). Currently, my dad is trying to convince him that one no-thank-you-bite won't actually hurt him. He disagrees.

I'm probably following Courtney and Ashley, but not really helping the clean-up process. Sam is opening his second vanilla Eskimo Pudding Pop for the evening. After he opens it and licks it, he will ask my mom if he's allowed to have it. This plan will most likely work, because if she isn't helping my dad persuade Duke, or cleaning up dinner, she's probably balancing her checkbook (being a master of multitasking, she might be doing all three at once).

Checkbook balancing occurred about once a week, because, with five kids, my mom didn't stand a chance of ever keeping cash in her wallet. Therefore, she was once an avid check writer.

Avid is an understatement. She actually tried to write a check at the gas station (it almost worked, too. She's convincing).

Today, though, the Queen of Checks has changed her ways.

Once my mom gave up the practice of check writing, I realized checks really are nearly obsolete. I mean, she didn't go cold turkey, but she's certainly no longer an addict.

Even more obsolete than checks, though, is the need to call to balance your checkbook. It's much easier to log into online banking and look over it quickly.

I'd imagine that my kids will never see me balance a checkbook via the phone, seeing as I've never done it before. It's amazing that something so natural to me growing up will be a completely foreign concept to my children.

But, the more we change, the more we lose sight of the reason we ever did something in the first place.

For example, in 1845, Congress needed to pick a time for Americans to vote. Being an agrarian society, and one that traveled by horse and buggy, schlepping to and from the county seat was quite the pilgrimage. Farmers required a day to get there, a day to vote, and a day to get back.

Of course, under no circumstances could this journey interfere with the three days of worship (separation of church and state? Not yet). So the only possible days were Tuesday and Wednesday.

But, Wednesday was market day. So, the only day left to vote was Tuesday.

It's funny, now, that we still vote on the first Tuesday of November. I'm almost surprised that no one has complained that we still uphold a practice that was created solely to respect worship.

Of course, with so many early voting options, I highly doubt any judge would look twice at their claim.

I, personally, am glad we still vote on Tuesday. Disregarding traditional election day altogether would be like moving Thanksgiving to Saturday. Whether or not it's really necessary to have Thanksgiving on Thursday anymore, moving it would seem sacrilegious. It's important to uphold these traditions because, well, it's just wrong not to (right?).

Whether or not you've spent the last few days worshiping, or still don a horse and buggy to get you to the polls, I hope you're not forced to spend three days voting.

Really, I hope you don't have to spend three hours at the polls either. But, in case you do spend an astronomical amount of time waiting to vote, here are a few things you can do: Read a magazine, make friends with other voters, or, most importantly, balance your checkbook.

If you get confused, call my mom, she'll help you.