10 things for new college grads
Six years ago, I wrote a
. I compared leaving college to what it's like if you were to leave the lid off an ant farm overnight. Even after months of working to build their tunnels and protect their homes, you'd wake up and find they'd left the little box for a much bigger universe. It's a lot like students leaving their desks and dorms and the lives they've built for the real world.
I always get nostalgic this time of year - reflecting on how much has changed during the last six years and what has stayed the same. What I miss and what I don't. I think about the way spring felt in Bloomington, with hundreds of trees in bloom and the feeling in the air that
if we just close our eyes tight enough, maybe we can stay a little longer.
I was ready to graduate when the time came. I wasn't ready to leave my friends but I felt eager to know where I'd be working and living. At the time, I was in a long distance relationship, so I felt ready to get to Atlanta and see where it would take me.
A lot of reader emails I get are from seniors in college and this month, as graduation wraps up around the US, you all have been on my mind. This time of life is wonderful and scary at once. It's easy and happy, but a little hard, too.
I did some things right and many things wrong. Here's what I wish I'd known when I graduated at 22:
1.
Your friendships are going to change.
And it's OK. You will have best friends you grow apart from and best friends you grow even closer to. There will be new friends. And some of them will come and go, while others become dear to you. Friendships in our 20s are like a Rubik's cube - they tend to rotate and shift - some fall into place and others don't fit. And when you find one that really works, it feels like magic. Make an effort to stay close to the people that matter the most. Mourn friendships that end up growing apart. And don't be afraid to make room for new ones to blossom.
2.
Take risks.
The older you get, the more money you make and the more secure you become. It gets harder and harder to give up that stability and comfort. Take risks now. If you want to work at a start--up, go abroad or be a camp counselor, now is the time to do it. Invest in these risks. Don't worry about how you'll explain them in an interview. These risks are brand building and personal equity. When you have more life experience, an employer will likely find it more valuable than your Excel skills. Don't be afraid to go against the grain.
3.
Spend time alone.
I spent many lonely nights in Atlanta when I first graduated. I went on a lot of walks and explored much of this city solo. But that loneliness soon became independence. Nights alone, which I once feared, I now revel in. I learned more about who I was and what I stood for on those walks around the city by myself than I ever anticipated. I didn't plan to spend so much time alone, but I'm so grateful for them now.
4.
Be careful with your money.
When I first moved here, my monthly rent was more than a 2-week paycheck after taxes. I was living well beyond my means. Don't do what I did. Live within your means and invest early. I know how tempting it is to live in a cooler neighborhood, go to every event and buy anything you want. I've been there. But the money you're saving now matters. Be wise with it.
5.
Try really hard at something.
! Whether it be your job, grad school, volunteering, a blog, training for a race or anything in between, do it well. Caring about things shapes us into being more compassionate, interesting and motivated people.
6.
Take on hobbies.
I've seen people wake up at 30 and realize all they did in their 20s was work. There's nothing wrong with working super hard, but take some time each month to invest in your own personal growth. Allowing yourself time to unplug from work and do something that's purely for yourself will keep you sane in this changing decade.
7.
The playing field will get uneven.
For the first time in your life, you aren't going to be in the same place as your friends. Some will continue with school and others will quickly be promoted over and over. Some will get engaged and buy houses. Others will shudder at the thought of commitment or a diaper. If there is one thing I wish I'd done better in my early 20s, it would be not
comparing myself to my friends
. We each have our own path and story and each one of them matters. We were not made to emulate one another.
8.
Care about your family.
This looks different for everyone and I know a lot of people carry both pain and joy in their familial relationships. I don't know what your family looks like, but I do know that everything started with family and, as you get older, you begin to see that everything comes back to it.
9.
See a therapist.
I pretty much think everyone could benefit from seeing a therapist during most seasons of life. I'm a big fan of emotional processing and I believe we grow a lot from reflecting and seeking guidance.
10.
Seek adventure.
Go to faraway places. Learn your city. Make new friends. Try different hobbies. Cook new things. Embrace new relationships. Open your heart to this next chapter, for it is great. Don't fear it. Let it shape you and grow you and make you into the amazing person you're meant to be.
meet whitney
But then, after a while, I started writing about things I care about: healthy living, 20-somethings, my family, Atlanta, body image, Jesus...
And once I started opening up and getting real, I noticed that other people did, too. And it made me realize that this world can be big and scary, but we're not alone in it. We're all in it together. And that's really wonderful.
These days, I'm getting certified to become a life coach so I can keep connecting with people on an even deeper level. If you're interested in working with me in this capacity, I'd love to chat!
Thank you for reading and for reminding me that this world is full of love and passion. I'm so glad you stopped by!
In case you want to start from the beginning, you can read my first post here.
10 things for 20-somethings
When you're tired of waiting for your husband
atlanta bucket list
10 things i can tell you about your husband
on comparison
how to be awesome at being single
better half
function over form
what I know at 26
hold on tight
on worrying
on knowing you're enough
the unglorification of busy
25 free summer dates in atlanta
But not yet!
Spring, sweet spring.
Chris and I decided that this month, we're taking on a challenge: 30 days of only free dates. Why? Well, we've spent a good bit of money lately with quite a few trips and weddings. And also? Because Atlanta has so much free stuff to do and the perfect time to take advantage of it is before it gets too hot.
Naturally, we have a few ground rules:
1. We are allowed to buy groceries to cook together
2. We are allowed to buy the froyo twice during the month. Because it's spring. And that's what you do in the spring.
The challenge began yesterday and will last until June 13. To make sure we don't just get lazy and cook dinner every night in yoga pants, I made a quick list of some things I hope we tackle:
1. Bike (or drive) the Living Walls - try to see them all
2. Go to the free coffee shop at the Goat Farm (though I do recommend tipping :))
3. Hike into the Bellwood Quarry
4. Play ping pong at Henry & June or Victory
5. Visit the Lilburn Hindu Temple
7. Explore/relax by the dam at Lullwater
8. Hike Sweetwater
9. Brew up some {iced} coffee on a Sunday morning and drive Tuxedo Road
10. Check out books at the Atlanta library (or use the free e-books from APL), take them to a park and read under a tree
11. Picnic on the beach in Morningside Nature Preserve
12. Feed the ducks in Piedmont Park
13. Go to a Grady High School track meet with lawn chairs
14. Walk, bike, run or stroll the BeltLine. Stop in Paris on Ponce for free popsicles
15. Explore a new neighborhood on foot - whether its Cabbagetown, Decatur or Grant Park, get outside your comfort zone
16. Do a Saturday AM power session and try to hit as many farmers' markets as possible: Freedom, Grant Park, Westside (and so many more!)
17. String up some battery-operated lights in Candler Park and have a nighttime picnic
18. Go to Free Beer Friday at Diesel at 5:37
19. Grab a volleyball and play in Piedmont Park
20. Get free coffee at Dunkin Donuts the day after the Braves win (during the month of May)
21. Spend the afternoon gardening at Truly Living Well
22. Throw a frisbee in Chastain
23. Grab a blanket, drive out of the city (somewhere without big buildings - like Fairburn) and stargaze
24. Sit in the Adirondack chairs at the Chattahoochee Coffee Company and watch everyone float the river
25. Buy a bag of coffee at Dancing Goats (this is an essential grocery, right!?) and they give you a free drink. Make it a coffee date :)
So that's where you'll find us this month! Happy free dating!