an appendectomy & sally's wedding

Happy Monday! Contrary to the lack of posts, I didn't lose my will to blog. No sir, instead, I lost an appendix. Good thing it's not vital!

Last Friday, as Chris and I geared up for Shaky Knees, I started feeling pretty sick. Thinking it was a cold or normal stomach issues, we assumed we'd be attending as planned. We both went to bed praying I'd feel better in the morning so we could have an ideal Saturday: workout class, big breakfast, music festival.

Instead I awakened at 2 a.m., my stomach writhing in pain. By 4 a.m. I was pretty sure it was my appendix and Chris took me to the hospital, where they confirmed it. Indeed, the appendix had to go.

The recovery last week was way harder than I anticipated. Seeing as your appendix is non-vital and so many people undergo the surgery daily, I thought I'd be back on my feet in no time.

It was clearly my first major surgery. 

{perk: tiny ice cream for breakfast. and every meal in the hospital.}

It was pretty dang painful and my energy has been unusually low as I've recuperated. Not to mention my appetite. Can any appendix-less people out there speak to when you start feeling hunger again? 

The entire week gave me so much perspective, though.

I feel so grateful to have my brothers and Chris in my life in Atlanta. They were excellent caretakers. They stayed by my side constantly, keeping me comfortable, hydrated and at ease. 

I feel so grateful for my health. I was a mess last week whenever I hit a limitation - so frustrated by it. I couldn't feel more grateful for my able body. I have a much deeper appreciation for all it does for me now. The ability to walk, run, breathe, laugh, dance and move freely - without pain or an IV machine - is so wonderful. I have a renewed desire to take the best care of my body possible.

I feel so grateful for my mom, who came days after the surgery to care for me. She left me feeling better, my house cleaner and my room rearranged. There really is nothing quite like having your mama care for you when you're sick.

I feel so grateful for the Lord's loving hand upon me this week. I believe more than ever that my body is His and in the power of His healing and loving hand. He is good and mighty! 

I feel so grateful for the love of my friends and family as I recovered. Thank YOU for your flowers, texts, ice cream, visits and cards. Feeling surrounded by love gave me so much strength. 


And, since nobody wants to see photos of me pre-, post- or in anywhere-in-between-operation, a few pics from this past weekend. I was in my friend, Sally's, wedding, and, even though Chris physically had to hold me up by the end of it, I was so happy I still got to be part of it. She was a babe of a bride! 






Congratulations, Sally & Preston! I love you!

thank you // today i'm loving

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who commented and emailed me about my blog post yesterday. The outpouring of love and support was incredible. I am truly so grateful for all of you who read my blog! It really means so much to me and I feel so fortunate to know that no matter where I take it next, I have your support. THANK YOU!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Today:


I'm wanting to make these Chickpea Chocolate Chip Cookie balls. Wowza. They look so tasty!

I'm loving this book list from Shauna Niequist. One of my favorite authors talking about her favorite authors? Sounds like a home run to me. I've actually been stalling on finishing The Fault in Our Stars because it's such a good book and I can't bear it ending. So grateful to have a list of suggestions ready to go!


I'm laughing/crying over Kevin Durant's MVP speech. I know almost nothing about basketball but I know this speech is good. If you don't have 25 minutes, just skip to 23:12, which is when he thanks his mom. Be warned that you'll be tearing up pretty quickly.


I'm heart melting over this read that Courtney sent me. You are more than a number, indeed.

I'm wanting to try this heated hair brush. What!

I'm wanting to buy this shirt for a baby near me. Y'ALL!

I'm intrigued by this article about the 7 Reasons Runners Can't Lose Weight. I don't typically weigh in on what I believe people should do to exercise because I think every body is different. But this definitely piqued my interest. Anyone else?

And I'm countering that article with this one. Because living life is much more important than an ideal weight, if I do say so :) If you love to run, run! Do your thing. I realized I was running for the wrong reasons and now I have a lot more fun doing other things. But not everyone is the same, nahmean?


And that's all for today!

why i haven't been blogging

I know I haven't been much of a blogger lately  and I'd like to tell you it's because I started a new role at work, had friends in town, went out of town and finally got new a car. 

And all of those things would be true. 

But the real truth is that lately I just haven't wanted to blog. I've been too weighed down by the keeping up. 

I've blogged for years because I love to write, but this winter something shifted for me. 
I became worried about my analytics. 
I felt like I should have clothes cute enough for people to want.  
And exciting events to constantly tell you about. 
And a cute baby or puppy to show you. 
Or, at the very least, a recipe to share.

I started to feel like my real life wasn't as worthy of living as the lives of other bloggers. I started to feel jealous of other bloggers who are friends - wondering if I wasn't cool enough to be invited into the blogger-friend-club. 


And because half of my brain knows this is not true, but half of my brain craves being accepted - more views, more likes, more RTs - I shut down. I knew that posting any of the above things for the wrong reason (which is what mine would have been) would not have been true to myself. 

Is it wrong to share a recipe I love? Of course not! 
Is it wrong to post it because I want 1,500 people to pin it and Buzzfeed to pick it up and everyone to think I'm so creative? Uh huh. Oh yeah. My worth isn't defined by how many recipe pins I get. 

Also, I've long struggled with the writer vs. blogger dichotomy. I never set out to be a blogger - I set out to write, to share my thoughts and to make a positive, real impact on the world. But, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was guest posting, weekend recapping and recipe creating. Before I knew it I was more concerned with the photos for each post than I was with the content itself. 

And to be a blogger is not wrong. I love reading so many blogs. I find recipes and workouts almost primarily through blogs I love. I find outfit ideas and home decor and a million amazing things. There are girls out there who are truly meant to blog right now - they are saying beautiful, wonderful things full of conviction and passion.

But, I want to participate in the blogosphere not because I want to keep up with it, but because it excites me. I want to write and to share the things about which I feel convicted. Sometimes it may be through a recipe and sometimes it may be through my photos. 

What this has taught me is that I don't want to do anything - whether it be blogging, writing, photographing or anything in between - with the hope of keeping up and being accepted. I want to do these things because they excite me. They give me energy. They are my passions. 


So now what? I don't know. I don't know if this confession will reinvigorate me and suddenly tomorrow I'll be giving you a weekend recap and a bucket list update. It could happen. Or maybe I'll wake up in the middle of the night tonight, struck by some post that I just have to get down on paper. 

We will see. 

But today, I'm taking back my blog. I'm running toward it, not away from it. I'm believing that the blog - and life - I have created are enough. Whether I have 5 or 5,000 views tomorrow need not matter. Because this life is worth living no matter what.