a confession & a recipe

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If you follow me on Pinterest, you might have noticed an influx of sugar-free, grain-free, nearly-everything-free recipes. During the last few weeks I've been doing a food intolerance elimination  diet to figure out what the heck is bothering my stomach so much. It's been a little extreme - during the first week my diet consisted of only veggies and seeds. I'm adding in something each week until I find the culprit. Fortunately, I'm doing it under Robyn's watchful eye, which helps/makes it more fun. 

It has, however, been a little challenging during the holiday season. And a little challenging for my boyfriend (uh yep. there's your confession. told you a lot can change in a year.) to find date spots. 

However, there are so many amazing blogs out there with tons of something-free recipes. 

I recently stumbled upon these GF blueberry muffins on the Lean Green Bean and, since sweet potatoes have been my main staple, decided I needed to try baked goods with them. I thought my zucchini bread was healthy. This is a whole new level. And yet, amazingly tasty. Especially with nut butter piled on top! 

So here you are, your recipe for Three Step, Grain Free, Vegan Sweet Potato Banana Bread, which I made up, but was inspired by Lean Green Bean, so you need not be too scared...

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Ingredients:

4 mashed bananas 

2 medium-sized mashed sweet potatoes 

4 T olive oil

2 T coconut oil

2 C. coconut flour

1 T baking powder

~1 C. water

1 t. cinnamon 

Instructions:

1. Combine banana, sweet potato, coconut oil and olive oil in a large bowl and mix very well

2. Add coconut flour, baking powder, water and cinnamon and stir until combined. If dough is not moist, add more water. You should reach the consistency of regular dough and coconut oil is very dry, so don't be alarmed if you need more water. 

3. Pour in greased bread pans (I used two) and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. It may not look cooked but test the inside - it is likely done after 25 minutes. 

You might want to know:

- Coconut flour is crazy dense. If you mind that quality in your bread, add more water, oil, or throw in applesauce or an egg. I wish I could have, but applesauce isn't fair game yet. And I was out of eggs and didn't want to go to the store (again) sooo no eggs here.

- This bread isn't very sweet. It is full of fiber and great for breakfast. If you want it to be sweeter, throw in some honey. 

- Feeling crazy? Add nuts! Or chocolate chips! Or blueberries. YUM!

...Or, duh! Top with sunbutter. 

Happy bakes ya crazy animals! 

christmas at our house!

Despite yesterday being in the 60s, it was Christmas at our house last night. 

Ever since we put up our tree, it's been feeling full and festive in our little house. But last night, any doubt was banished: it's Christmastime in the Highlands! 

We took a present to our neighbors, exchanged gifts and spent a good hour and a half trying to put together the trampoline Melly gave me. 

We laughed a lot. Mostly about our lack of hand strength and therefore lack of ability to put together the trampoline. We talked about how long we'll stay in Atlanta - and how long we'll stay in this house. 

It was happy.

I've been trying really hard not to let too much busy get to me this holiday season. Not rushing too much. Not worrying if my gifts don't look pretty (worst wrapper ever!). Not doing things I feel like I should do and instead embracing the right now; the holiday. 

Last night was the perfect way to capture it - we didn't do much besides open and laugh and trampoline assemble, but it was life-giving and fulfilling in the best way possible. I fell asleep easily and with a full heart; so grateful for my roommate, our house and this season. 

One week! 

one year // everything changes

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There's something about the end of the year that makes me reflective. I have a constant desire to look back on the last 12 months - analyzing the way things have changed, if I have grown - accomplished things. I fear I drive my friends crazy, telling them: Let's reflect. Where were you a year ago? 

I've noticed we have a tendency to minimize the year. My friends going abroad for a year told me, 

Oh it's just a year. 

As we signed our thirtieth lease, thinking we'd stay a year (ha!), we said, 

It's just a year. Then we can always move again. 

My friends starting graduate programs tell me, 

It's just for a couple of years, then who knows... 

It seems we start things all the time, thinking about the end. But lately, I've noticed that a year is so much more than a blip - it's 365 days (8,765 hours!). And time is so precious. 

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At the start of 2013, I knew something in my life needed to change. I wasn't sure what it was, but I felt like I was floating - zigzagging back and forth down a lazy river, unsure of exactly where I was going. So, without any certainty as to

what

was making me feel so aimless, I started praying about the same things over and over, writing them in my journal every night, hoping that by covering so many broad topics, I'd somehow find the right answer. I prayed the exact same eight questions every night. 

From my job to dating to our living situation to going to Africa to thinking I should move closer to family to wondering if I was running too much, I drilled down on every subject. And as I sat in church last night, thinking about how much has changed this year, I thought back to my questions, in awe of the way they've been answered. 

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Within nine days of writing down these questions, I had my first answer: 

we were moving

. 

Within two months, I was taking a break from running. 

Within four months,

I was going to Africa

. 

Within six months I was in a new job.

Within eight months,

my brothers were in Atlanta with me

. 

And the list doesn't stop there. Every question was met with clarity or action. Every bullet has been met with peace. 

Looking back on this filled me with so much joy and hope.

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And it gave me a renewed vigor toward using my time well. Life is precious - not just because we never know how much we have, but also because there are so many beautiful people and causes in this world fighting for life; for time. But if we aren't careful, they'll begin to zap our energy. Before we know it, we'll be spread too thin, committing to things that are "just a couple of weeks" and "just a couple of nights each month" and "just a year." 

But a year is long and exciting. And as we close out 2013, I'm so grateful for the things life has taught me this year. I'm so grateful for every one of those 365 days - the good, the bad and the beautiful.

And as we head into 2014, I'm approaching it with passion and gratitude. I'm committing to the things I care about and letting the things that zap my energy fall away. I'm worrying less about pleasing everyone and more about pursuing the things I know deserve more time and energy. I'm focusing less on my checklist - done, done, done - and more on pouring more energy and passion into the things I really love. 

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I couldn't be more excited. And I'm thrilled to bask in these last 15 days of 2013, grateful for what this beautiful year has taught me. For how it has changed me. I intend to embrace every bit of the remaining holiday season, soaking up every Christmas song and stocking stuffer I can find. I'm heading to Indy this weekend and cannot wait to be with my family - just the very people I want to end the year with. 

Here's to 2013, 2014 and beyond. And Christmas, of course! Next week :) Happy Monday!

on body image // what if?

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I don't normally talk much about body image on my blog because there are a lot of people out there who are far better educated than me, saying way smarter things about it. But lately it has been on my mind. 

I recently heard a few girls talking - all saying the same thing, in a way. They were talking about the holiday cookies they "should not have eaten" and the workout they "should have done" and the way they were not "skinny enough" and how they "should really be" counting their calories.

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And the conversation weighed me down. It made me feel sad and heavy and tired. And it made me wonder who was setting all these dang rules? Who says they shouldn't have the cookies or take a day off from working out? Who says they should look a certain way?

And I just kept thinking, What if we stop? What if we just stopped talking about all the things we're doing wrong with our bodies and instead embraced them? What if we woke up tomorrow and instead of feeling bad about our butts and legs and stomachs and arms we just thought about how grateful we were for strong, working bodies? What if we stopped trying to look like someone else and instead fully embraced our build? 

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I had this moment of clarity while listening where I thought, how silly we are, fighting the way our bodies are naturally made. 

Why are we fighting it? And not just fighting it, but punishing ourselves with restriction and negative thoughts? And then voicing them? Why are we giving power to the beast?

I wanted to ignore the whole "thigh gap" conversation because I think it's completely nutsoids, but I couldn't because it started to get to me. For my entire life, I've had strong legs. Even when I was five and started swimming and every other girl my age was walking around on beanpoles, my legs were strong. 

For a long time, I wanted to fight it. I didn't want to go to spinning or do a triathlon for fear they'd get stronger - bigger. Once I stopped fighting it, I started loving them. But you know what? That dang thigh gap trend made me feel bad. Because that's never going to be me. 

And when I was watching a Today show segment about it I thought: Golly! The whole world feels bad about this. Everyone is trying to attain something that only certain people were made to have. 

But what if we stop? What if instead we remind ourselves that we're meant to take up space in this world. That we don't have to be smaller and use up less land. That embracing our natural bodies is exactly the way we're made to live. What if instead we start talking about how we love our bodies just how they are? Every part of them. 

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What if we embrace the bodies God gave us not because they're perfect but because they're ours? Tall and short and everything in between. Using the space we need on this earth, unafraid of being who we are fully designed to be.

I think it could be kind of beautiful.